Friday, December 2, 2011

Flash Fiction Friday #2


Photo courtesy of Madison Woods
I found a good group on twitter after last week’s – uh…week before last’s – flash fiction post.  (I was stuffing myself with stuffing last week.)  Madison Woods (@Madison_Woods) posts a picture weekly and asks that the #Fictioneers write exactly 100 words related to or inspired by the Picture of the Week and post their work on their own blog, on twitter under #FlashFriday, and as a link on her blog (http://MadisonWoods.wordpress.com) for others to comment on and compare. 
Since my foot is philosophically stuck in a bear trap as far as progress on my full work of fiction (but I refuse to chew it off), I find this to be a great exercise to keep my mind in motion.  (Exercise my writing muscles). 
I encourage you to try it and keep those creative juices flowing, so to speak.  Speaking of juice, I need to go get another cup of extract of Coffea arabica.    
Here’s this week’s offering.  It is a bit depressing…
I sat beside my great-grandmother's bed and gazed through the woods framing the window of her small room.  Her fragile hands were in mine, but we did not speak.  I, because there was no need.  She, because her mind had long ago folded in upon itself.  In the quiet, I thought about everything she’d taught me – to bake, to garden, to love Jesus, to be a lady.  She was a mother to me when I had none.  I would miss her. 

I watched as another of the golden-hued leaves fell to the ground to make room for next year’s foliage.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Susan,

    You're right, this is a sad piece, but I think you gave a hint of ... if not hope, then acceptance at the end with the recognition that all leaves have to fall to allow for regrowth. It's a stunning ending.

    On a personal note, great to find another new-joiner to Madison's fantastic friday fiction group.

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  2. Dear Susan,

    Had to read your post before I sleep and must tell you that I very much agree with Elmo in her assessment of your piece. Not depressing in the least. Perhaps sad but it's okay to be sad at such an ending. "..folded in upon itself." is an apt description of the process many of us will go through.

    Wishing now that I was articulate enough to write more, but this will have to suffice. Welcome aboard, by the way.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  3. I didn't find it cheesy at all. Poignant, sad perhaps, but not necessarily depressing. In general, that's how I feel during the season of fall too. With regard to your story, I had the feeling of 'it is what it is'. No pretense involved and I liked that.

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  4. I like that you rounded out the picture with the leaves falling to make room for the next crop. Being alive now, I can't but find it depressing, even though I know it is how things have to be...

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  5. @elmowrites ~ Thank you for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. I was unsure about the abrupt change between the main body and the ending. I prefer a nice leisurely segue...

    PS - I'm glad to have found the group!

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  6. @Madison ~ Thank you for letting me play. I enjoy ot greatly. And thank you for reading. Fall does make me a little sad but in a way joyful because it is the necessary end before a new beginning...

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  7. @Linda ~ inevitable, yes. *sigh* Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.

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  8. Dear Doug, Thank you again for your encouraging words. I watched my great-grandmother fall into the depths of Alzheimer's. It is just that - the mind backtracks through time and eventually shuts down... (PS - Your Aloha reminds me of many fond years of living in Hawaii and a half-dozen visites since)

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  9. Outstanding! Really had depth. Depressing — who cares? It wasn't, anyway... just life, which it captured.

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  10. @Carlos ~Thank you...it is "just life," isn't it? Full of ups and downs and ups again...

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