Friday, January 13, 2012

Flash Fiction Friday #6


Reaching, stretching, determined to grow. Maria worried about the chances for this bare start of an oak. Its single root struggled for purchase on gravel instead of the rich soil it needed for nourishment. Pondering its blind faith shifted her mind from the call she received from Dr. Powell only moments ago. She made the appointment because she’d been tired – achingly exhausted – and plagued with daily nausea and headaches for weeks. Blood work pinpointed the exact cause of her illness. Fear and joy now wrestled in her heart. At the age of 45, she was for the first time, pregnant.
P.S. I'm neither 45 nor pregnant (thank God).  This is the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw the photo prompt. 
P.P.S. If you'd like to play 100 word Flash Fiction, check out Madison's blog: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/ 
Be sure and post your work in your own blog (or her's if you don't have one) as well as a link on Madison's blog and Twitter (if you tweet) so the other #FridayFictioneers will be able to read it.  Join us!          

29 comments:

  1. Wonderful story, Susan! I like that you related the photo to birth. Also, the way you used "gravel instead of rich soil it needed for nourishment" as a metaphor. Very nice!

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  2. Reminds me of the parable of the sower, "some seed fell on the good soil, some fell on the rocks." I like the analogy with the first time pregnancy and the acorn too. Good job!

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    1. Yes, I guess it does have a biblical bend, doesn't it? Thank you for reading.

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  3. I like this. It's different and it brings to mind something deeper than what on the surface. Great piece!

    Here's my offering: http://sweettea.kdmccrite.com/flash-fiction-3/his-way/

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    1. It was different for me...but I went with it anyway. I am glad you enjoyed reading it. Thank you!

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  4. I thought this was going to turn out tragically, but you turned it to a positive. Good twist. Another fine metaphor for the sprouting acorn!
    Here's mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

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    1. Thank you for your comments...I hoped readers would first worry, then be happy for her, then worry again...I'm glad you got that!

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  5. Your descriptions and metaphor in this are beautiful, I'm so glad you shared it.

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    1. Thank you! Sometimes I worry if I over-metaphor stuff. I'm glad you enjoyed this week's piece.

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  6. Well, Ms Freud, what do you make of that? An interesting narrative, but it fits into my cosmology, where life is determined to grow absolutely anywhere, even in the most ancient of wombs!

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    1. Haha, Linda! I seriously almost ended my post today with "analyze this!" I, too, agree "life will find a way..."

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  7. Yes, I'm with Laurinda Glamoura-Palund on the inexorable force of life, which you summarised quite well. Are you sure you're not pregnant? There is the possibility that writing things like this can make you pregnant...

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    1. Yes, quite certain, but I have a half dozen people in my life who are...maybe that's what caused the idea to "sprout." (I have an almost 17yo and an almost 12yo...that's more than enough for me!!)

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  8. I can relate to the terror, I would be mortified if I became pregnant at my age! Hahaha! Great post!

    I think that your first sentence is missing a noun. Maybe you meant to put a comma at the end of it instead of a period.
    Have a great weekend!

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    1. Yes, the first sentence completely ignored the "normal" rules of grammar...I wanted to throw out a few of Maria's disjointed thoughts to set the mood.

      Thank you for reading...and for introducing me to this great group. I look forward to it each week.

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  9. I've experienced those feelings, though not at age 45! ;) Nicely done, Susan. Very evocative.

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    1. Thank you kindly for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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  10. The first words very effectively pull you in. I also like the smooth transition to the character's situation. Well done.

    Here's mine: http://wp.me/s1Tjpv-cassie

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    1. Thanks! Sometime the words pour out - other times...it's like pulling teeth...

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  11. There ARE times when creative/poetic license not only can, but SHOULD override 100% proper grammar. This probably would not have been as effective otherwise. Well done.

    Here's mine: http://wp.me/p24aJS-1h

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    1. Have you read Stephen King's "On Writing"? I've found the information within to be bountiful...a nice accompaniment to The Elements of Style (Strunk & White) and my other writing guides.
      (PS - thanks for reading!)

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    1. I like to think it is...I'm glad you got that from this piece. It's remarkable how hard some things have to work just to live...

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  13. Dear Susan,

    A masterful piece of work; evocative, hopeful, in a way a paean to motherhood, mother nature and the indomitable force that is life. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Ah, Doug!

      I wondered where you were. I appreciate your feedback and am pleased you appreciated the piece. It gives me hope that my large work of fiction might, just might, have a chance. And, thank you for another new word...paean...I love it.

      Many thanks,
      Susan

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  14. If I had stared at that prompt for the rest of my life also, I wouldn't have come with this dimension for a story!
    Kudos for originality and out of the box thinking... I loved reading this!

    Here's mine:http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/01/15/when-the-going-gets-tough/

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    1. Thank you...my thinking is often "out of the box"...I never know what is going on in there. Thanks for reading!

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  15. Weirdly, I had a similar thought when I first saw the prompt -- thought of pregnancy. Not sure what that's about, but I didn't know what I'd write about it, so I went in a different direction. I really like what you did, though, and I'm glad it rang a similar bell in your mind. Very interesting.

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    1. I guess it's because all life starts as a small seed, so to speak. From trees, to chickens, to whales, to human beings, we all start small - some grow to fruition and some do not. Thank you for reading!

      ~Susan

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