Thursday, April 5, 2012

Flash Fiction #16



“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”  Diane dropped the final congratulatory card and watched it see-saw down to the river’s surface with the others.

Retirement was supposed to be this unlimited, amazing free time to indulge hobbies, travel, and complete long neglected projects.  For a while it had been fun, but now… 

With no family, no job, no friends, no plan, she felt so…so useless. 

What good was a new day…a new life…when one had no purpose?  What was left when one became obsolete?  Diane took a step and followed the cards over the edge.      

31 comments:

  1. She needs to get a plan, fast. You made me feel very sorry for her Susan, so it worked. :(

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/reaching-a-conclusion-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/

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    1. Thank you - me too. I wish she had sold all of her belongings and spent the rest of her life traveling the world. There is *always* something to do...I don't think one should ever give up hope like this.

      ~Susan

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  2. How depressing! Beautifully written though. I definitely felt the sense of despair in her last moments.

    http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/04/down-by-the-river-friday-fictioneers1.html

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and reading. It was a depressing piece...that's where the words took me this week. Thank you for "feeling" for Diane.

      ~Susan (PS - I enjoyed reading your murder story!)

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  3. Nice and depressing, well written and worth the stop by. Good Job!

    Here is my stab a it http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=264

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    1. Thank you, Tom. And, I glad you did stop by. I'm off to check out yours...

      ~Susan

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  4. Such a depressing start to my easter weekend! :P
    Seriously though, it's a very well written story with a very sad edge to it. I felt so sorry for poor Diane, so unable to enjoy retirement that she wanted to end it all.

    Mine is a little less depressing this week:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/fridayfictioneers-catfishing/

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    1. I know...I felt bad and a bit of a betrayer because Easter (for me) is such a glorious time for new beginnings...not sad endings. But, I can't really control where my mind will take me with these photo prompts. *sigh*

      Thank you for reading...
      ~Susan

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  5. Oh my, so sad!! I wish I could give her a list of reasons why going on makes sense. Great writing - just a sad way to end.

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    1. There are so many other options. I'm surprised she chose this way...Thank you for reading and commenting.

      ~Susan

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  6. Hey, and who said Madison's was depressing? If only we could have gotten that poor woman into a volunteer career! She could be reading for the elderly, docenting at a museum, made me feel helpless for not being able to guide her life!

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    1. Or become a nun, or a foster mom, or...so many other better options. *sigh* Oh Diane...

      ~Susan

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  7. Lovely story, but how sad to give up rather than seek out the companionship she craves. :'(

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    1. It is sad...I'm sure if she had looked she would find someone else out there feeling just as hopeless...they could have joined forces to battle the loneliness.

      ~Susan

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  8. Awwww. I'm all kinds of sad now : (
    Unfortunately, this kind of thinking is a bit prevalent in the retired community. Thanks for sharing, Susan.
    Here's mine:
    http://the-drabbler.com/life-disturbed/

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    1. This is such a big world with so many other options...thank you for reading and commenting.

      ~Susan

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  9. Oh no! Not what I was expecting at all. I guess I was hopeful, because I have a firnd going through this transition now. Though I see it as an exciting change, he is having a difficult time dealing with all the change. Beautifully written as always, Susan.

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    1. Obviously it's a friend and not a firnd. :)

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    2. I think, no matter how one prepares for retirement or other big life changes, it still is a shock to the system. Hopefully most adapt rather than give up. Thank you for you kind comment.

      ~Susan

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  10. Wow, that's a depressing one. Set the mood and drew me in... I didn't think it would be good... you did not disappoint.

    http://tedstrutz.com/2012/04/04/844/

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    1. Thanks, Ted, for reading and commenting. I'm still bummed about your truck.

      ~Susan

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  11. Hmm...makes me glad I am many years yet from blissful retirement. Great story that doubles as social commentary for stopping to smell the roses along the way. Very skillfully woven.

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    1. Transition is tough. Some take to it better than others, I suppose. I'm learning this along the way. (thank you for reading and taking the time to comment)

      ~Susan

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  12. Sorry Susan: This story was not pleasant to read. i have a feeling this was nothing new to your character. Killer herself was caused by a manic depression or bi-polar condition and not staying on her meds. Seniors are going back to school, joining clubs, getting rehired in the work place, getting hip replacements, doing senior TV commercials, traveling, volunteering, learning the computer, and hey...even writing and getting published. Here's mine:
    www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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    1. I couldn't agree more! There is much more to life - quitting is not an option for me personally...

      ~Susan

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  13. This story interests me for some strange reasons...maybe because i give up easily too. But the pace and wordings of the narration had me all along. I love this piece!
    http://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/f-is-for-flash-fiction/

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    1. William,

      I understand completely. Thank you for stopping by!

      ~Susan

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  14. This is pretty much what retirement feels like for a lot of people. So many adults are defined solely by their jobs. I think you've done an amazing job showing that here.

    My link is: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/meet-me/

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    1. Thank you. I got a taste of this when I retired from the military. Even though I was only 38, it was all I had known and ever done. At first it was fun, but a couple months after that I found myself a little lost as to what was next.
      ~Susan

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  15. I see this happening with my sister as her children have grown and left the nest. Her entire life has been defined by her role as caretaker and now she's lost. I can see how it can happen to retirees too. It saddens me, though. Great story, Susan, your technique in delivery was excellent.

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Madison, and I'm sorry to hear about your sister. It's hard finding one's way again when the familiar is gone.

      ~Susan

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