Thursday, July 12, 2012

Flash Fiction #25



The parched Arizona highway was void of life less Död and his familiar resting high upon a charred branch.  When Jager took flight, Död followed.  It had been too long and his hunger raged.
 
Through the windshield of his flat-black Vandenbrink GTO, he spied her.  Worn weary by the road or life...or both, she walked, thumb out, pleading for rescue.  She was young and fresh and perfect for his needs.

Duivel commissioned harvest of the kidneys, heart, and other marketable organs.

Död would get the rest.

His lips smoothed into a tender smile as he halted the thrumming engine. 

I hope you enjoyed my twenty-fifth installment of flash fiction.  Thank you to Madison for manning the helm. Check out her blog to play with the #FridayFictioneers and don't forget to join the Facebook page for additional updates and information.  
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40 comments:

  1. billgncsJuly 12, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    wow -- tender smile, grim ending -- well done

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:14 PM

      The nice smile often hides what is behind the scenes, doesn't it? Thank you for reading and commenting.

      ~Susan

      Delete
  2. janetJuly 12, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    I enjoyed it...in a totally yucky way...which means it worked. Good job.

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:12 PM

      Thank you, Janet. It was yucky but fun to write.

      ~Susan

      Delete
  3. AnonymousJuly 12, 2012 at 1:24 PM

    Gruesome! :)

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  4. UnknownJuly 12, 2012 at 1:43 PM

    "... the thrumming engine." That's a nice metaphor. It almost neutralizes the blood-chilling operation that went on there.

    Nice work.

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/12/soliloquy-of-a-disgruntled-raven/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:09 PM

      I intended to include that the engine noise stopped as the rumbling of his hunger increased but ran out of words. I'm glad the line worked by itself. Thanks for saying so!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  5. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsJuly 12, 2012 at 5:25 PM

    Creepy. Hitchcock is getting his due this week.

    www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/arson.html

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:07 PM

      I love Hitchcock! Thank you for the comparison!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  6. AnonymousJuly 12, 2012 at 8:15 PM

    chills.....reminded me of a movie about organ. Great writing.

    http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/friday-fictioneers-the-river/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:04 PM

      It would make a great movie...I can almost see it now.
      Thank you!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  7. UnknownJuly 12, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    A deliciously disturbing little story. Just the right blend of horror and suspense.

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:03 PM

      Deliciously disturbing...thank you for the excellent compliment. Speaking of delicious, I wonder what Död does intend to do with "the rest."

      ~Susan

      Delete
  8. AnonymousJuly 12, 2012 at 9:22 PM

    Wow. Horror. Noir. Atmosphere. You nailed it.

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:01 PM

      Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting...

      ~Susan

      Delete
  9. Sandra CrookJuly 12, 2012 at 11:54 PM

    Chilling little story - captured the prompt perfectly.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/every-cloud-friday-fictioneers-july-2012/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 9:57 PM

      Thank you, Sandra. It gives me the heebeegeebees and I wrote it!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  10. C.C. July 13, 2012 at 12:31 AM

    This is reason number one never to hitchhike! My word! What sorts of demons lurk to steal your life and harvest your organs. Nice in a totally grossed out/creeped out way.

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 9:57 PM

      On our way back from California earlier this week, I saw a very young girl hitchhiking and the story began to formulate. When I saw the photo, I knew I could make it work!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  11. Douglas MacIlroyJuly 13, 2012 at 3:08 AM

    Welcome to the dark side. Abandon all hope, ye who hitchhike here...

    Susan, i loved this story. From the names to the lean, spare language, to the terrible conclusion, it rocked and rolled my senses. One of your best (and congrats on your 25th story here)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/roadkill/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 7:23 PM

      I'm glad you liked the names...I wanted a foreign word for "death" that sounded cool in English and found Död...which is Dutch then had to find a Dutch supercar and ended up with the Vandenbrink GTO (which is one sweet ride - I am a car nut too). Jager is Dutch for "hunter" and Duivel means "demon." So...I did put a lot of thought into it and am pleased that you liked!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  12. Reading PleasureJuly 13, 2012 at 7:27 AM

    Chilly and full of suspense. Great take on the prompt. Mine is here and linked too: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 9:53 PM

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I'm off to your pretty green blog!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  13. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 8:55 AM

    The harvester and the harbinger. Cool.

    http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/flash-fiction-friday-harbinger/#comment-1075

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 9:52 PM

      I'm glad you caught that. How handy to have a vulture do your searching, huh?

      ~Susan

      Delete
  14. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Bloodthirsty comes to mind, nice lead up to the ultimate moment, happy to escape before the next bit :)
    http://wp.me/s1nUrn-buzzard

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 9:49 PM

      I would love to do a whole book just from this opening. I hate to think - though - just how dark it would get if I continued. Thank you for reading.

      ~Susan

      Delete
  15. Quill ShivJuly 13, 2012 at 5:02 PM

    I loved it! This is a story I love--detailed, compact, yet still mysterious. <3

    http://quillshiv.com/2012/07/12/lady-of-war/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 9:48 PM

      Thank you very much. I haven't liked my last couple - they seemed forced. But this one pleased me too.

      ~Susan

      Delete
  16. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 10:00 PM

    You had me at Gto and I liked the harbinger looking for fresh victims. Nicely done. Thank you for stopping in.
    Here is my offering at yaralwrites.com

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 13, 2012 at 10:44 PM

      I am a car nut and I had to pick the perfect car for death to drive. I'm glad you approve!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  17. AnonymousJuly 14, 2012 at 3:41 AM

    This was beautifully done. Good plot. Well-written. Makes mine look even worse.

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 14, 2012 at 8:43 AM

      Thank you Marilyn. I like yours too...they are your words, so you should be proud of them! :)

      ~Susan

      Delete
  18. AnonymousJuly 14, 2012 at 1:21 PM

    Hi Susan,
    Wow, so much going on here. Organ mechants, buzzards, a hitcher, all woven together skillfully in 100 words. I love the word thrum. By the way, you were dead on in your comment on my story.
    Ron

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 14, 2012 at 2:02 PM

      "dead on"...haha. Very punny. And, thank you for your comment. I always like to hear what you and Doug have to say. Thanks for stopping by!

      ~Susan

      Delete
  19. AnonymousJuly 14, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    And I meant to add: Thanks for recycling!
    Ron

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  20. mysocalledDutchlifeJuly 15, 2012 at 2:48 PM

    Het was erg leuk en een beetje eng! Ik vind het heel goed. Good job, really enjoyed that!
    Beste, Mikaela

    http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/canyon-ff-friday-the-13th-of-july-12/

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    1. Susan WenzelJuly 15, 2012 at 9:35 PM

      Haha...Hartelijk dank! How funny that you happened to see this. Now I have to come check out "mysocalledDutchlife"...

      ~Susan

      Delete

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