Thursday, August 2, 2012

Flash Fiction #28



Another bout of violent hacking echoed down the hall from the den-turned-sickroom.  His father was getting worse with each progressing hour, yet Carl found it near impossible to scrape together even the smallest iota of sympathy for the man.

One last convulsive cough was followed by a wheeze…and then silence.  

Carl rose slowly from his lounger to go check on the elder Morris.

Philip was sitting up in the hospital bed and grinned when his son appeared.  He removed the lit cigarette from the stoma in his neck, plugged the hole with his forefinger, and hissed, "I ain’t dead yet." 

Thank you to Madison for this exceptionally gross picture!  I love it but didn't know whether to go the alien route, write about fungus and rot, or reminisce about toasted marshmallows.  I finally decided it looked like something that might be growing in the lungs of a die-hard smoker.  Enjoy!  

Don't forget, if you want to join the Friday Fictioneers,  stop by Madison's Blog and join the gang!

25 comments:

  1. I think people would immediately stop smoking if they saw something like this growing inside them! Interesting take on the prompt.

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    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. Cancer is the first thing I thought of when I saw the prompt. Ok...the second. I really did think it looked like a toasted marshmallow at first. haha.

      ~Susan

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  2. That's quite a picture, smoking through a stoma. I could believe it though. A graphic rendition on the prompt Susan. Well done.

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    1. Hi, Sandra! I actually heard about a throat cancer survivor smoking through his stoma - don't remember where or when, but it stuck with me.

      ~Susan

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  3. Tough old man. Won't quit smoking, or living for that matter.

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    1. Nope. Neither one...

      Thank you for stopping by. I'm off to read yours.

      ~Susan

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Very poignant and convincing. Terrific story. (Prev comment forgot to add my name).

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting, Mike. I'm glad you liked it...

      ~Susan

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  6. I think this is actually the most "eww" story I have read so far this week, simply because it's human (and internal, at that!) Choices, choices, and not always the right ones.

    http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/slick

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    1. But we do have the freedom to make what ever choice we want...usually. Off to read yours...

      ~Susan

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  7. A different take on the prompt, that worked really well.
    A poignant story highlighting how some people just can't help themselves.

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    1. I guess that is why they call it an addiction. Some people hit rock bottom and keep right on falling.

      ~Susan

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  8. That relationship seems strained at best. Smoking from the stoma? Talk about dedication to your addiction. Just picturing that in his lungs skeeved me out. *shudder*

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    1. I'm glad you liked this...or at least that it skeeved you out. haha. Thanks for commenting...probably my favorite comment thus far!

      ~Susan

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  9. Die-hard is the word, Susan! There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes in this story and I love the angst you set up here.
    I'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/friday-fiction-torment/

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    1. I wonder if the son isn't looking forward to his father's impending death. This is a relationship worth further exploration.

      ~Susan

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  10. well done, reminds me of rushing to the ER ro see my father in the oxygen tent, tubes and machinery everywhere, and he couldn't speak and passes me a note "Sure could use a cigarette"

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    1. Ouch, Bill. Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm glad you liked it...

      ~Susan

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  11. Good job but yuk!! I can well imagine some people would do this.

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    1. Thanks, Janet. I'm glad you liked it...and found it yucky! haha.

      ~Susan

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  12. That was really dark, and the image of him pressing the cigarette will remain with me for some time. Good work.

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    1. Yeah...it gave me the creeps too. I could see the shriveled up old man through a cloud of cigarette smoke. Thank you for your comment!

      ~Susan

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  13. Smoking ultimately took my mother's life. I hate cigarettes.
    You've built a lot of backstory into this small piece. I sense there's more to it than nicotine and oxygen tubes. Applause!

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    1. I really hate cigarettes too. I guess that is what spawned this story idea. Thank you for your kind comment.

      ~Susan

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