Thursday, August 9, 2012

Flash Fiction #29



Poseidon’s temper was legendary, but his wrath would be second to none if he learned of her betrayal. 

When the time came, only her handmaiden, Miryam, was present.  Amphitrite nuzzled the baby’s neck to memorize his scent then wrapped the tiny boy in her gossamer shawl.

“Take him and go,” she said to Miryam.  “I cannot bear to look upon him any longer.”  

Miryam placed the seashell and its precious cargo into the currents of the Aegean and watched as it washed away to some distant shore.
   
What became of the boy would not be known for generations to come.  

After you read my writing, leave a link to your blog in the comments, because I look forward to reading your story as well…especially if you happen to be a FridayFictioneer!!  (Thank you to Madison for using my picture.) 
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54 comments:

  1. loraAugust 9, 2012 at 9:00 PM

    Hi Susan: Lovely story. Visions of Baby Moses. Thank you for contributing your photo to FFictioneers. Invoking some delightful stories so far.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 9, 2012 at 9:11 PM

      Ah! I'm glad you saw the Moses link. Sometimes I wonder if I bury these things too deep (no one got "Philip Morris" last week). I hoped using the name of Miryam (Miriam) would help a bit. I'm glad you like the picture...and my story! Thank you!

      ~Susan

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  2. billgncsAugust 9, 2012 at 9:51 PM

    ahh -- his destiny and those of all he touches linked in the currents of life.

    this is the kind of story I love.

    http://bwfiction.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/swimming-friday-fictioneers/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:14 PM

      Thank you, Bill. I appreciate your kind comment. I really haven't decided his fate. I can't help but think he grew up to be a powerful man.

      ~Susan

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  3. AnonymousAugust 9, 2012 at 9:55 PM

    Very interesting juxtaposition of Greek mythology and Biblical characters. Well done!

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:15 PM

      I'm glad you enjoyed to combination. Thank you. I hoped it would work...

      ~Susan

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  4. AnonymousAugust 9, 2012 at 11:42 PM

    Lovely picture Susan, am very fond of all things sea related as it is only a couple of hundred yards from my door! I enjoyed your story too. Mine is at http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/friday-fictioneers-moving-on/.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:20 PM

      Me too. We live in the Puget Sound (where this picture was taken) and just last weekend we put our kayaks in and saw an amazing array of sea life - including seals! Thank you...

      ~Susan

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  5. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 12:06 AM

    Your photograph coaxed me back this week. I like your classical approach. I didn't think of that.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:23 PM

      I'm glad you came out to play...and that you liked my story. I thought and thought about it and all of a sudden the words poured out.

      ~Susan

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  6. Kaitlin BranchAugust 10, 2012 at 1:57 AM

    EEK! Another greek myth! I went for Aphrodite and wondered if anyone else would go greek. Awesome job!! http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/08/10/friday-fictioneers-9/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:28 PM

      Interesting! I had Venus in my mind for a brief moment but changed my mind...I'll have to check out yours!

      ~Susan

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  7. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsAugust 10, 2012 at 2:35 AM

    Thanks for the lovely picture, Susan and your comments on my story. I'm quite fond of water. It has always been my safe haven.
    Your story's intriguing. Amphritite cared deeply for the child and then covered it with denial. Sweet.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:32 PM

      I imagine she felt the price of keeping the baby to be too high. I can't imagine having to make a decision like that. Thank you for stopping by...

      ~Susan

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  8. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 2:49 AM

    I love all sorts of fairytales and legends, especially when they are woven into the interpretations people come up with for Friday Fictioneers - well done.

    Here's mine too http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/10/friday-fictioneers-shell-seeker/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:33 PM

      Thank you. I'm glad you liked this week's offering. I'm off to read yours!

      ~Susan

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  9. Douglas MacIlroyAugust 10, 2012 at 4:01 AM

    Dear Susan,

    I looked far and wide to find the name of Amphitrite's offspring. Thank you for educating me re her realm. I am going to put the knowledge to good use.

    I enjoyed the mood you set and depiction of Amphitrite giving her child to the waves. Were you by any chance stationed on the USS Amphitrite?

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:43 PM

      Dear Doug,

      I know Amphitrite and Poseidon had a few offspring...I am not sure that she had any outside that union - he sure did though. You know how those gods and goddesses were...always messing around.

      I was not stationed on the USS Amphitrite but the mythology of the sea runs deep (no pun intended) in all of us Navy types.

      I'm glad you enjoyed this. I had a great time writing it.

      ~Susan

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  10. Mary ShipmanAugust 10, 2012 at 4:28 AM

    Great story! here is mine: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/camping-on-the-river-friday-fictioneers/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:51 PM

      Thank you for stopping by, Mary. I'm off to read yours.

      ~Susan

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  11. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 5:16 AM

    I LOVE your photo, Susan. And the images you presented in your story were as beautiful -- the scent of the baby, imagining him floating away in the shell. I remember inhaling the scent of my babies to try to keep it with me forever. I still remember...

    --Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/fridayfictioneers-flashfiction-shell-phone/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 10:56 PM

      Thank you, Jan. I'm glad you like the picture and the story...I took the pic on Mother's Day at the beach here. It was a perfect day.

      I, too, remember the scent of my two babies...that is my favorite line in the story.

      ~Susan

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  12. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 5:27 AM

    Wonderful :) This one will linger . . .

    Thanks for your comment on ours, and for providing the prompt this week.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:02 PM

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. And, it was my pleasure to send in the picture. It seemed like good story fodder.

      ~Susan

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  13. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 5:37 AM

    I enjoyed reading this very much. I love your writing.
    Here's my link.
    http://silentlyheardonce.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/the-friday-fictioneers/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:06 PM

      That is so nice to hear. What a great compliment...thank you so very much. I love that someone loves my writing... :)

      ~Susan

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  14. Sandra CrookAugust 10, 2012 at 6:30 AM

    Nicely told, great voice. And thanks for donating the photo for this week's prompt.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/its-not-me-its-you-friday-fictioneers-august-2012/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:08 PM

      Thank you...I was a little afraid the first line was a bit trite, so I appreciate knowing that you liked the voice. I'm off to read yours.

      ~Susan

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  15. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 8:05 AM

    A lovely story Susan.
    I wonder where the waves might take the baby?

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:09 PM

      I am not sure where the baby ended up. I might have to explore this one a bit more...thank you for your kind words.

      ~Susan

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  16. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    Thanks for the photo prompt this week. I assumed it was postable with attribution. If I'm wrong, please don't sue me. I'll be happy to take it down. :)

    I enjoyed your story. I love mythology. Your flash telling shows interesting dimension, emphasis, and focus. That, coupled with the empty shell in the photo makes me wonder what happens next and motivates me to look up the story (one I'm unfamiliar with).

    http://keliwright.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/friday-fictioneers-contact/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:13 PM

      Yes, yes, yes...post away! It is for all to enjoy!

      I, too, love mythology and was happy when that was the route my story wanted to take. I don't know that Amphitrite gave away any babies...I made that up. It does bear further research, though! Let me know if you learn anything...

      ~Susan

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  17. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    Nicely done Susan. Beautiful picture BTW, Your take too is a worthy story.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:17 PM

      Thank you. It wasn't until after I offered up the picture that I realized I had no idea what to write. I'm glad you liked what I ended up with.

      ~Susan

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  18. RussellAugust 10, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    Wow, this one is really good, Susan. Your lovely photo has spawned some excellent writing this week. My first thought was a mermaid lost her bra- HA! But alas, I didn't write about that. I love mythology and caught the Miriam context as well.

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:19 PM

      Thank you so much, Russell. That means a lot coming from you - you are one of my favorites. Honestly...I thought for SURE you would go the mermaid bra route. I laughed out loud when I read that in your comment.

      Off to read your and see what you DID come up with.

      ~Susan

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  19. BethAugust 10, 2012 at 12:20 PM

    Beautifully told and compelling. I had to read it twice. You might find a smiliar story (but-not-really!) on my blog.

    http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/

    And thanks for the great photo!!!

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:24 PM

      Thank you for enjoying so much that you had to read it twice. I'm off to read your similar (or not) story!

      ~Susan

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  20. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 5:04 PM

    It's fitting that, since you provided the picture, your story should be one of the best of the week. Loved the epic sense throughout the whole thing, but especially in that last sentence.

    Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/08/10/the-reunion/)

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:29 PM

      Well, Brian. I'm pleased to know you think my words are that good! That is music to my humble ears. Gosh...I might be blushing. :)

      ~Susan

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  21. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 11:00 PM

    Thanks for providing a very inspirational picture Susan, and a lovely piece of writing.

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 10, 2012 at 11:34 PM

      Thank you, Claire. And...I'm glad you found the photo worth your words as well!

      ~Susan

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  22. janetAugust 11, 2012 at 7:37 PM

    I shouldn't have read all the other comments before writing because so many great things have already been said. So I'll just say, "Nice job!" I'm finally back from vacation and trying to catch up with everyone. :-)

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 17, 2012 at 4:46 PM

      Thank you, Janet. I'm glad you stopped by. I, too, am behind this week! School, the garden, outdoor projects, the fair, art festival, etc...pick an excuse!

      ~Susan

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  23. AnonymousAugust 12, 2012 at 6:07 PM

    Hi Susan,
    Thanks for providing an interesting and challenging photo this week. You story was great mythology and sounded very authentic. It was weird, because I had just written my own little mythology story for another project just before I read your story. Nothing from me this week. Giving my brain a vacation.
    Ron

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 17, 2012 at 4:48 PM

      I'm glad you stopped by, Ron. Mythology writing is fun because one can make it anything at all. Thank you for your kind comments. I appreciate your time.

      ~Susan

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  24. AnonymousAugust 13, 2012 at 5:09 AM

    Thanks for a gorgeous picture this week, Susan. It has obviously inspired a lot of great stories.
    Your mythology felt very real, although I don't know enough to know whether this is part of an existing myth, or something you've created from scratch. You leave me wondering about who this boy will become!
    Mine's at: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/friday-fiction-shells/

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 17, 2012 at 4:50 PM

      I'm glad you liked the picture. I am looking forward to reading what you wrote. Amphitrite is "real" as is her relationship with Poseidon. As far as I know, he was the only one who was unfaithful though.

      ~Susan

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  25. Susie LindauAugust 13, 2012 at 7:58 AM

    I love it and the words you chose. "gossamer" "nuzzled the baby's neck to memorize his scent" Gave me shivers!
    Thanks for the prompt! Sorry about not coming sooner. I had a wild weekend (starting Friday morning) and I am just catching up!

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 17, 2012 at 4:55 PM

      I'm so glad you liked "gossamer." I hoped it wasn't too cliche for the story. No apologies needed either...as you can see, I am trying to finish up from last week and had no time to write this week. Ug!

      ~Susan

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  26. UnknownAugust 13, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    So very descriptive and sad. I would love to see how you would finish this story. Awesome Photo Prompt as well. I'm here: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/08/friday-fictioneers-sand-and-sea-shells.html

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 17, 2012 at 5:00 PM

      I felt sad for her too. To cast away your baby after only holding him once...that would break my heart too.

      I'm glad you liked the picture too! Thank you!

      ~Susan

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  27. Cindy MarschAugust 13, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    I love the depth of the fantasy with the allusions to mythology. But I always want to know how a Poseidon might not notice a pregnancy or inquire after the baby once it arrived. ;-) http://wrasselings.blogspot.com/2012/08/an-experiment-friday-fictioneers.html

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    1. Susan WenzelAugust 17, 2012 at 5:04 PM

      Thank you, Cindy. I figured Poseidon to be too arrogant to notice anything but what suits his current needs. Thank you for stopping by!

      ~Susan

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