Thursday, August 23, 2012

Flash Fiction #30



In the gray, I hear freighters as they traverse the narrow channel en route to the Pacific.  I stand on the porch and listen as they call to each other warning of a proximity made even more treacherous by the fog.

The dividing horizon is a blur.  The mist hides all traces of the sky, the water, the earth.
 
But, these twelve-thousand ton vessels voyage on trusting in their inner navigation to lead them to distant shores. 

I too am unable to see my destination.  I can only pray that I am plotting my course in a direction that’s true.

Photo by the lovely Maggie Duncan.  And who could forget our Friday Fictioneer Femme Fatale...Madison Woods!

22 comments:

  1. A very evocative story, Susan. I love 'the dividing horizon is a blur'. Just one little thing, I think it should be 'en route' rather than 'in route'. :-)
    Mine is at http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/misty-friday-fictioneers/

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    1. Thank you for the catch! I changed it. I'm glad you stopped by early, so I didn't look illiterate for too long!

      ~Susan

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  2. That is a wonderful metaphor you have conjoured there Susan of the inability to see the way forward through a fog. Well done.

    Here's mine too: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/24/friday-fictioneers-misty/

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    1. I love how a heavy fog makes everything disappear. Sometimes it is enchanting...others, almost terrifying.

      ~Susan

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  3. I really liked this. I never construed this photograph as depicting a waterway running through it, and I'm surprised about that. There's something about mist on water that always brings me up short, something majestic, ethereal and mystical about it. Nicely captured. Very well done Susan.

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    1. We are only a few miles from the coast and I can frequently hear passing freighters. On those foggy mornings, I sometimes find myself standing on the porch captivated by them. Thank you for commenting!

      ~Susan

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  4. I agree--excellent use of the metaphor. I didn't think of the water connection, either, so this was unexpected.

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    1. I live in a gray, foggy location near the water. It was inevitable ;)

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed my effort this week.

      ~Susan

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  5. I can only echo what's already been said. Great use of metaphor. Life choices aren't always clear and can be compared to mist and fog. Good work. Well written...close to poetry.
    http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/

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    1. Thank you. We can't see the future (and aren't meant to). We can only hope we are constructing something that will bring us satisfaction...and if we are lucky, joy.

      ~Susan

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  6. Yes, a beautiful metaphoric take on the prompt. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/fridayfictioneers-light-on-the-hill/

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    1. Thank you for stopping by. I'm off to read yours!

      ~Susan

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  7. Beautiful! I know those mornings with the coastal fog heavy, where the sound of fog horns echo in muted tones. Your story brought all that back for me. Thank you! Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/flash-friday-fiction-13/

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  8. Nicely written. I could imagine the fear associated with wandering in a foggy woods.

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. I think fog can be rather mystical (no pun intended...yet it is pretty funny).

      ~Susan

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    2. PS - I couldn't find the link to post a comment on your blog...but I loved your poem. I am a sucker for nature!

      ~Susan

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  9. I liked it, our lives moving in the steady parallel to the freighters...

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    1. Thank you for stopping by. I think that's whey I loved being in the Navy. Something about the ships...they seem impenetrable...stalwart...and some other strong adjectives (haha).

      ~Susan

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  10. I love the final bit. I feel a bit like that myself sometimes. Other times the destination is a bit more clear.

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    1. There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going...(stolen from Willy Wonka)

      Thank you...I'm glad you appreciate/understand what I was trying to say. I look forward to reading yours.

      ~Susan

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  11. I like the comparison betw, the freighters maneuvering in the heavy fog and planning her own destination, whatever it may be. Hope she makes the right decision and find her way. Nice work. I'm #36 on the list.

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    1. Thank you, Lora. I'm glad you appreciated the parallel. She/me/we...I can only hope we all find our way.

      ~Susan

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